The standard, “You have reached the voice mailbox of nine.. one.. eight.. three..” is extremely boring! I am not sure if many people just do not wish to have their voice on their greeting or are just too busy in their life to record a customized one. Regardless, the standard, “Hey this is Justin, leave a message.” is heard so often it drives me crazy. In an attempt to make greetings a little more entertaining, figured I would list some new ideas.

Funny Greetings

“Hey! Justin’s voice mail is broken, but this is his refrigerator; speak slowly and I’ll stick a note to myself with one of these nifty magnets!”

“In case you have forgotten, this is a machine — my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through it’s office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”

“My sixth sense allows me to know who you are, what you want, and how to reach you; so at the tone — just hang up.”

“I do not want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is a voice mail? Maybe it’s a dream, or an illusion; maybe you don’t really exist! One way to find out is to leave a message, if it’s reality, I will call you back.”

“Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I don’t know, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. ::click::”

“These words are lovely dark and deep But I’ve got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep So leave a message at the beep.”

“You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.”

“Hello… Do you ever get the ones where someone says ‘Hello!’, and there’s a long pause, so you think you’re talking to an actual person. Then you begin speaking, and after you say about two words you hear, ‘We can’t come to the phone right now.’ I really hate that!”

“Hi, this is Justin’s answering machine. He’s not here, but I’m open to suggestions.”

“We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.”

“Hi there. This is Justin speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I’ll be thinking about it…”

“Hi you’ve reached the rejection hotline and that means you’ve been rejected by the person you’re trying to call. We don’t want you, but maybe if you leave a message we might think about returning your call”

“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you…”

“Sorry I didn’t answer your call, honestly when I saw your number I accidentally pushed the ignore button.”

“If your message has not pertinent content as to why you’re calling; hang up now.”

Some creative thoughts

“Hello. I’m available right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.”

“The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.”

“Hi, this is Justin. If you’re part of the problem, hang up now. If you’re part of the solution, leave a message.”

“Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.”

“Hi. I’m probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.”

“Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.”

“Hi, this is Justin. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.”

The End

Think you have some interesting ideas for a voice mail greeting? Let us know, and if you have some recorded we want those too!